I can’t seem to go to bed tonight. I am exhausted, both physically from all the exercise and mentally from all the study. Yet I can’t seem to go to bed. :(
It’s not so much a nagging thought, just a bit of self doubt I guess. I know I am not in complete control of my life or even know exactly what I want.
I have different parts of me that wants different things, A part of me wants to go backpacking around most parts of the world, do some aid work in Africa or even India for a couple of years. Another part of me wants to work and build my future. And yet another part wants companionship. Depending on the day you talk to me and the time of the day I could want any one of those three lives.
Sometimes I wonder if I can roll them all into my one life, and other time I feel it’s not possible.
I guess only time will tell where I end up and how happy I will be and yet, I am unwilling to let go ... to be out of control.
At times I feel life is too short to analyse and regret ones actions, sometime I think we should just “go with the flow”. Then there are times when I feel… I guess “go with the flow” is only good if people don’t get hurt. And sometimes, it’s hard to predict the future and to know if your actions or decisions will hurt anyone.
2 comments:
Is there any reason that you cant do all of those things? Complete your studies then go overseas and do some 'world vision' type of work for a year. Come back and find a job and who knows what else...a life partner ?
Freespirited I sense your worry at the moment about where and in what direction your life is headed.All I want to say is it`s all in your control...go for it!
Thanks Consise10 :)
The thing is I think I have almost met my man :)
and I am finishing school in a couple of months and I have a job lined up.
I probably will move countries,look for a different job (which is a good thing) yet nerve wrecking.
The rest will happen when it has to happen.
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